Saturday, July 2, 2011
And now for a birth story…a little long, I know. Sorry.
I wanted so desperately to have a vaginal delivery after cesarean (VBAC) with this baby. Ever since agreeing to be induced with Zeke, which ultimately ended with a c-section, I’ve wished I had done things differently, and I really wanted this time to conform a little more to the birth I had in my head.
Tons of research assured me a VBAC was, in fact, possible, even considering my gestational diabetes (and even though the GD was more severe this time). My doctor wasn’t overly encouraging about it because Labor and Delivery at WMC doesn’t have in-house anesthesia, and the
Fast forward to mid-May, and I’m in excruciating pain. Like, excruciating.
Little guy decided my sciatic nerve was just the place to hang out, and I started having trouble walking (which, as you might imagine, makes life as a teacher and toddler-mom a wee bit difficult). I was still absolutely committed to a VBAC, but started seriously hoping he would decide to show up a couple of weeks early, both to increase my chances of a successful VBAC and to stop the shooting pain in my right leg. Every morning my colleagues would ask if I was really still here? and tell me I should seriously consider staying home. Apparently I was pretty pathetic.
I hated leaving my students for the last few weeks of school (especially my eighth-graders, the first class I’ve seen all the way through middle school), but there wasn’t much of a choice.
I didn’t come back after Memorial Day, but I still had to keep sending Zeke to daycare and to my (fabulous) mother-in-law because I couldn’t physically keep up with him or pick him up. At least I got a couple of weeks to get the house good and straightened up, I guess.
The Thursday before Ezra arrived I had an ultrasound to check his size – minimum 9 pounds, according to the
Answer: Most women don’t have diabetes, and most of those who do don’t have it as severely as you. I’m not concerned about his head size; it’s the shoulders we worry about with babies of diabetic moms. There’s no way to tell whether his shoulders will fit or not until it’s way too late even for an emergency c-section, and I don’t want to have to break his collarbone.
So, I was once again scared into delivering a baby in a way contrary to what I believe(d) to be best.
We scheduled the c-section for Tuesday, June 14 at 10:30am and I spent the next several days finishing things around the house and trying to prepare myself for the physical trauma of surgery and the emotional trauma of losing the birth I wanted and expected. I started taking arnica and hypericum in preparation for surgery, and doing a lot of praying for strength, acceptance, and peace.
Tuesday morning came and we got to the hospital around 8:30am (my mother-in-law had spent the night and stayed home with Zeke when we left). The nurses hooked me up to the monitors for a little while to check everything, and after deciding the baby and I both looked great, as well as being subjected to Adam’s very long story about Zeke’s birth drama, they prepped me for surgery.
At this point I was mostly just concerned about the spinal block, since during Zeke’s birth I was too doped up on Ambien to remember the anesthesia part. I was not looking forward to a needle in my back. Once in the OR, though, the spinal was nothing. I didn’t even feel the shots of local anesthetic – thank you, Dr. Whatever-Your-Name-Is!
Lying back and waiting to lose feeling, though, I started to get all weepy about the circumstances. I was still very unsure about whether I’d made the right decision and I told my
Adam came into the OR fully decked out in the requisite blue suit, shoe covers, hairnet, and mask, and sat right next to me, at which point I said, I really didn’t want to do it this way and started to cry. Luckily, the OR staff anticipate this kind of emotional wreck, and tissues were at the ready. Adam had to dab my face for me and, naturally, he stuck his thumb right in my eye.
I didn’t remember how violent a c-section actually is. No pain, of course, but the pressure is unbelievable and it felt like they were tugging on my lungs. It makes sense for it to be so uncomfortable, I guess, since they’re pulling an entire human being out through a 6-inch incision, but I just don’t remember all of that from Zeke’s birth. It’s really pretty gross, if you think about it for too long.
After a few minutes of someone pummeling my belly and pulling out my insides, we finally heard the best sound in the whole world; apparently, he didn’t even wait until he was completely out before he started wailing. He quieted down almost immediately and got wiped off, weighed and measured (8lbs7oz, 20in), diapered, and handed to Adam, at which point the tears flowed in earnest. He was perfect.
Adam went with him to the nursery while my
In a weird sort of way, it made me feel a lot better about my decision to go ahead with the planned c-section. Though it wasn’t at all what I hoped to do and I still feel I got scared into it, I’m confident it was ultimately the right decision. Chances are high that subsequent deliveries will also be c-sections, because it seems my placentas like to start clotting themselves off when we hit week 39 and, frankly, the risk of stillbirth just isn't worth it. I'm okay with this.
After three days in the hospital (and getting really pissed about the way the bed kept moving on its own and why the hell won’t it quit and let me sleep?!), we finally went home to a really good night’s sleep. Since leaving the hospital I’ve never needed any medication other than ibuprofen, my sciatica is now almost completely gone, and the diabetes disappeared immediately after Ezra was born. Hallelujah!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
All morning Zeke was asking to go outside. Like, over and over and overandoverandover…I managed to talk him into helping me with the dishes first, though, which mostly involved him thrashing around with a wooden spoon as well as filling cups with water and dumping them back out again.
After waking up it was off to Barbara’s for playgroup! Now, this was especially exciting because we NEVER get to do it; most of the other families feature stay-at-home moms, so they do playgroup during the day. Obviously, I do not stay home full-time, so we usually can’t come, but every once in awhile the stars align and it coincides with a day off. Thursday was one of those days.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Translation: walking on the Meadowbranch neighborhood trail. Apparently there were some exhibits there from Shenandoah, including a taxidermied beaver. Who knew?
Is it weird that I don’t get nervous about going to the dentist? Like, at all? Some people seriously freak out, and most people are at least a little bit apprehensive, but the smells/sounds/instruments have absolutely no impact on my psyche whatsoever. This is not to say that I love the experience (scraping metal against the backs of my teeth = no fun), but it really isn’t a big deal at all.
Of course, I’ve also never ever had a cavity, thus no drilling or novocaine. This probably helps.
Anyway, after the whole dentist thing there were a couple more things to do, then back to pick up Zeke and go over to my in-laws’. Grandma kept Zeke while I got my hair cut, and I don’t think there was any lack of things to do. He visited with his daddy, Pappy, and Uncle Sam in the shop, then played in the backyard with Grandma and Uncle Patrick. When I got back, they were setting up Patrick’s new basketball hoop and Adam was holding Zeke over his head so he could dunk the ball. Wish I had a picture of that one.
Then, finally home for bratwurst with red peppers and onions for dinner; I also stovetop-grilled some pumpernickel and topped it with chopped tomatoes (from Linda’s Mercantile), basil, and garlic. There’s something about fresh tomatoes that just makes me happy.
Monday, April 25, 2011
But I resisted, and I’m so glad! **polishes halo**
There was a lot of coloring, reading, and singing again, of course, and it had cleared up enough to go back outside when Mom came over around 6. And it’s a good thing, too, because apparently we’ve produced a child who does not want to come inside. Ever.
Mom decided this was the time to trim the boxwoods which were literally eating our porch. She was being very deliberate, using hand clippers and taking off small pieces at a time in an attempt to create a decent shape (according to Adam, the shrub in question looks like, and I quote, “three-quarters of a butt”…sheesh). Once she’d been going for awhile I started to realize how much larger the porch is than I thought; there’s almost enough room for a rocking chair. Almost.
When Adam got home he jumped in to help with the pruning, and they eventually got to a point where the branches were too thick for the clippers.
At which point Adam said, “I have something for this!” and brought out the chainsaw. This is one of the
But I also no longer feel like my shrubberies are going to eat me when I’m standing at the front door, so I guess it all evens out in the end.
Dad came over with Chinese food for all of us, so Adam went to sleep a happy man. The End.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
So it was a good thing I made an email exception to Screen-Free Week, because on the very first day…….
And yours truly won it.
Day One of Screen-Free Week was a fabulous success, and not only because of Inara’s Rainbow. There was, of course, a lot of dish-washing, laundry, and the usual chore-type things, but I actually got to witness Zeke play. For hours. I don’t get to see this during the day most of the time, and it was so very gratifying to watch. I made a kid who loves to do stuff! How cool.
But I couldn’t help thinking, this child is literally learning every second of every day. I can’t believe I’d sometimes rather let him sit in front of the TV because I just don’t want to be bothered. My priorities suck.
It turns out Zeke really likes hoses, watering cans, potted plants, and tilled dirt. He’s such a boy.
Dinner was chicken on the grill with green beans and quinoa (my current favorite grain, mostly because I’m impatient and it only takes like 15 minutes to cook). After bath and bedtime, Adam came into the living room and turned on Top Gear, so I had to scram to the spare bedroom for an end-of-the-day email check and to read the New York Times. Print edition, people, print.
Also, see You Capture at I Should Be Folding Laundry for a looooooong list of blogs with beautiful spring photos. Mkay? Mkay.
It was a very good place to start.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Screen-Free Week starts tonight at midnight, and every time I tell someone about Zeke and I not watching TV or using the computer (except for what's absolutely necessary for work and communication), they give me an oh-you-poor-thing look and say, how will you ever make it through your entire spring break without tv? Won't you be bored out of your mind?
There are SO MANY things to do around here: so many stories to read, songs to sing, papers to color, plants to put out, boxes to organize. And it's Holy Week, so that means physical and spiritual preparations for Easter. I think we'll manage.
Name above all Names
Blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel
A Rescue for sinners
A Ransom from heaven
Lord of all...
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Add a little bulletin board paper, glue, masking tape, and leftover die-cut letters and...
Lots of creative paper folding and fastening turned it into a neat little desk for Zeke's 21-month-old self. Not that I expect it to last longer than 2 minutes in its blemish-free state, but DARN IT it's cute right now!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Anyway, in the interim I'm entering a very cool giveaway/altruism thing at the suggestion/urging/strong recommendation of Mahreen at Veni, Vidi, Blogi.
The prize = this bee-yoo-tiful sling:
And here we go...